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Dinah Broyda

Self-care vs. Self-soothing: What are they and why is it important to know the difference?

Self-care is a subject that has grown in popularity in recent times, with every blog, magazine and celebrity having their own opinions on the matter. The discussions usually revolve around the various activities one can use to wind down and relax after a big day, or how to broach the topic at work in order to help reduce burn out. With self-care’s newfound popularity, advertising companies have come to sell us every product under the sun as a self-care miracle; from bath products to food to gym memberships.


However, the truth of the matter is that self-care is an old idea, and has always been an important part of life. ‘Self-care’ is an umbrella term referring to a wide variety of activities, behaviours or methods cognitive management; essentially, it means how we take care of ourselves both mentally and physically. Unfortunately, this means that having a bath once in a while, or splurging on skin-care, isn’t really enough. Self-care is an essential part of healthy living, especially in today’s fast-paced society. It allows us to refocus and dedicate time to ourselves, and manage our health and personal lives. Don’t forget, life wasn’t always like this and it got like this so fast that our brains haven’t really had time to properly adjust.



This is where self-soothing comes in, and where its difference from self-care becomes pronounced. Self-soothing refers to activities that offer us relaxation and emotional regulation. This facet of self-care is essential, as it allows us to regain emotional equilibrium after an emotional high or low. It’s most useful after a bad day at work, a busy weekend, or a particularly draining experience. But it’s only one part of a fully managed self-care regime.


For example: going for a walk is a form of self-care, whereas having a bath is a form of self-soothing. Cleaning your house is a form of self-care, while having takeout as a treat is a form of self-soothing.


WHY BOTHER KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE?


Have you ever tried to have a self-care day, but ended up feeling unfulfilled or still anxious? People often use self-soothing techniques where they should be enacting self-care, often because it’s easier. Self-care tasks often don’t seem to have the desired immediate benefits, or the shiny fun appearance, of self-soothing activities, which means that proper self-care gets put on the back-burner.


WHAT DO I DO?


The great thing about self-care and self-soothing is that they actually complement each other! Pairing up an activity of each allows your brain to enjoy the relaxing aspects of self-soothing whilst giving you the benefits of the long-term mental health gains from performing more adequate self-care.


Try planning a self-care section into your day, where you start those chores that you’ve been putting off forever, but then you treat yourself with your favourite takeout as a self-soothing reward. Or do a form of exercise that gets your blood pumping and feeling great – going for a run, lifting weights – followed by a nice, relaxing bath.


There’s no better feeling – nor anything more beneficial to your mental health – than feeling accomplished, and no better reward than being relaxed after taking care of yourself.


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